You say you love my smile

You say you love my smile, are enraptured with it and you aren’t sure why. Well maybe you see or feel the loneliness it masks or feel the pull of the desire to be loved, held, taken care of. Maybe your soul recognises another soul in distress and wants to help, reach out, connect.

Maybe the karmic energies of the world are so greatly entwined that my grief attracts all grief, even that which was so small and well hidden in you.

You say that you’re interested in me but don’t know in what way, you just can’t help but look at me and want to be close. Maybe we’re designed so that hurt attracts hurt, loneliness attracts loneliness. Maybe you’re interested because of some ancient male genome, designed to protect, honed in on my concealed distress signal. Maybe you’re interested when I smile because you can feel that the light that is there, bright as it may be, is heavily shadowed by clouds of despair.

Or maybe my smile enraptured you because it’s the smile of somebody who knows love, has felt it, lost it but remembers it and is searching for it in everyone but knows she will never find it like she lost it but is dying inside to find it and live it again.

Maybe it’s the smile of someone dying to live again and begging every soul it meets to live with it, and maybe your soul wants to live like my soulful smile promises….with love and freedom.

Why am I Happy?

I have a big house, a great paying job and a european made car. I am married to a wonderful loving faithful husband and we have beautiful, well behaved children.

Actually none of that is true. I don’t own my own home and where I rent is actually a humble 3 bedroom that I share with my parents in a shared yard. My job pays adequate for the level but is by no means a baller type salary. I have no car, no husband and no children.

So what the hell you happy about?

Well I would LOVE to have all those things mentioned but none of that would define my happiness. If it did I would be in a constant state of depression.

I’m happy to be alive!

😒 really?

Yes really!

Being alive just holds a host of possibilities. I’m happy to have the all those possibilities available to me. I’m happy to be able to make plans and break plans; to see things come together and to build them back when they fall apart.

I’m happy for all the different types of people I’ve met and will meet. The cute ones, the ugly ones, the annoying ones, the fun ones, the ones who love themselves to the moon and back and the insecure ones. The ones who’ve touched my heart and the ones who’ve broken it. The family that are also friends and the friends who are more like family.

What makes me happy is the ability to feel gratitude for the small things and even for the upsetting things, because everything can teach you a lesson and out of every situation comes a new possibility. Every situation, even the bad ones, gives you a new perspective and an opportunity to do something new or something different.

And though I may not be happy all day every day I am usually happy every day. So if you aren’t happy right now try to see if changing your perspective helps or talk to a professional or talk to a friend. Sometimes I feel so alone, and it comes and goes but I try to make sure that feeling never stays.

This was written from a prompt given by a friend.

Chin up,

Chest out,

Be HAPPY!

😘

~Ms Abby Kay~

18 things to do for 2018

So many make resolutions that they never keep but this list will probably help with some of those standard resolutions but add fun to the year and leave you with memories.

Let’s jump right in:

1. Eliminate one bad food from your diet

This could be something as simple as soda or ‘see drink’ as we call it in Trinidad. I have pretty much eliminated adding any sugar to my drinks and try to stay away from refined sugars.

Alternatively you could add one healthy thing to your diet to make it easier. Like adding eating one fruit a day (even if it’s a tomato).

2. DANCE! – Recommendation : Salsa Fiesta TnT 2018

Salsa Fiesta TnT is a weekend long Latin dance celebration in Trinidad and Tobago. Held annually at Cascadia hotel. This year it will be held from May 31st to June 3rd. Think shows, workshops and parties. The Thursday kicks off with a show and after party at Cascadia Hotel; Friday is an International Show at Queens Hall followed by an after-party at Cascadia Hotel; Saturday is a full day of workshops in different genres of dance at the hotel, followed by another International Show at Queens Hall and back to the hotel for another party. WAIT!! It’s still not done. Sunday is another full day of dance workshops followed by the cool down party. Ok now we’re done.

Don’t worry if you can’t dance, they have Beginners BoothCamp where you get a crash course in different styles of Latin Dance. By the end of the first session you will be able to look decent out on the dance floor. I have to say though that for the most part once you enjoy yourself it doesn’t matter what steps you do (well to me anyway).

The full weekend pass:

Register by January 31st by paying down TT$100 – Total Cost of TT$900

Register during 1st February 31st March by paying down TT$100 – Total Cost of TT$1,000

Register from 1st April – Total Cost of TT$1,100

And they have special room rates with the hotel if you decide to stay the weekend. Tip: Stay at a nearby hotel if not the host venue, all that party and dancing, you’ll want somewhere close to crash.

Message Carol at 680-2624 to register.

Otherwise just find somewhere to dance, there are many schools across Trinidad and Tobago and I guarantee parties are more fun when you can dance (in addition to wining).

3. Fight!

NO I don’t mean start a street fight. I mean join a Martial Art group. I started Taekwondo with Edson Breedy Taekwondo Academy in La Joya last year. VIBEZ! You feel stronger even while knowing you pretty much suck at fighting. I expect any Martial Art would leave you feeling the same. Take up Boxing or Tai Chi or Karate.

If you can’t commit to joining a regular class Edson Breedy Taekwondo Academy will be hosting a sparring (fighting) clinic this year. Follow them on instagram or Facebook for updates. The school holds its regular classes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 6:30 to 8:00pm at St Joseph and the first two classes are free, so you can try it with no strings attached before committing. Give it a shot, how many of you feel to hit someone on a regular? It may not be the person you want to hit but it eases some frustration and is a great way to get fit.

4. Attempt 1 thing that scares you

This could be anything. Afraid of heights? Zip line. Afraid of drowning? Take a swimming class. This is personal. This is for you to conquer a fear and feel powerful. It will make you feel empowered to take back control of your life.

5. Try a No-Spend Month

WHAT! I have bills!

I know it sounds impossible but hear me out. It takes preparation and does not mean you can’t spend a cent. It means that absolutely no unnecessary money will be spent this month. You have to prepare. Pay all you bills, buy groceries since you won’t be buying food out unless it cannot be helped (you will be out for the entire day and will not always have access to a microwave or fridge), check your toiletries, again only the necessities and get them beforehand. So for this month (or week if you want to start small) you don’t buy snacks, don’t buy that cute lipstick or spend money at that club. That one month you only do the necessary spends. Your entertainment should be free events where you can carry your food an drink, try the beach or the park or visit a friend’s house. Then at the end of the month check how much you have saved. Saving is a typical resolution that people almost never reach their target, this could help you evaluate what is realistic in terms of savings for you.

6. Do a Financial Check-up

This could just be listing out all your current account balances and debt balances. Check your income and standard expenditures, see where needs to be adjusted. Make it realistic. List your financial goals, adjust it to match your current financial situation. Check your insurances. If you don’t make that much money, maybe even minimum wage or just above, even $10 a week saving can and will add up. $10 a week is $520 a year. Put that into a Credit Union or high-yield savings account. In 10 years you have in excess of $5200. It may not seem like much now but it is easy to build up to that much but when you retire it would mean some change in your hand until pension can be sorted out, or can help your child buy books for university or pay rent during a hard phase.

But check up your finances, you may realize it is in better shape than you thought and can stop worrying, or you may realize you need to do better with something. Don’t be to hard on yourself, whatever you find but you have to know the complete situation before you can change it and sometimes by writing it down things become clearer than what you had in your head.

7. Attend a Cultural Show

Not a fete. Try a Best Village competition or a community talent show or concert. It does not have to cost much, it can be a free show. I recommend a government sponsored show, it is usually filled with little known local talent. Exceptional talent too. So go on try a cultural show, you may just end up liking it.

8. Get a Physical Health Check-up

There are enough health fairs that this does not have to mean it will cost you anything. Check your eyes, HIV status, Blood Pressure, Blood Glucose level, get a pap smear ladies and a prostate exam for you older gentlemen. We all like to think if nothing hurts then nothing is wrong but hypertension is called the silent killer for a reason. In addition, if something does hurt or has been hurting for years please go get it checked this year.. No excuses!

9. Volunteer

This does not have to be a regular thing. Volunteer Center Trinidad and Tobago, Habitat for Humanity, Is There Not A Cause, they all accept volunteers on an as needed basis, for one day or a few hours. Give back. Check out one of them or any other and volunteer at least once this year.

10. Learn another Language

Now this one will take some work but it is worth it. Studies have showed that this helps your brain and makes you incredibly attractive to the opposite sex. Well maybe.

And again this could be free. Try Duolingo or another language learning app, or Coursera or You Tube.

11. Learn a skill or trade

These are hard times, it is good to have a fall back trade or side hustle but first you have to learn the skill. My recommendation is learn something opposite to what you do all day. So if you are currently a tradesperson, try learning something academic or artistic. If you’re in the office all day, try learning to tile or some craft. It helps your brain learn in a new and different way and takes your body and mind out of the monotony of your day. Bonus: you may get a skill that you can make money off of it.

12. Treat yo’self!

If you already do this excessively, don’t. Just kidding, you worked hard, you need to enjoy your labours. You do not need to even spend much if anything on this. Treating yourself could be a simple taking a few hours for yourself, a slice of cake just for you, a foot soak or at home spa day. Do this every Month, you deserve it!

13. Plant a food crop

Hey, you are going to be glad to save that small price off your market goods. You can do simple herbs if you live in an apartment or concrete jungle or you can grow pumpkins or tomatoes or peppers. Some crops are very easy and require little maintenance but you feel like a badass adult when you can do all the other troubles of life AND successfully grow your own seasonings. Side note: chives and chadon beni practically grow themselves and you still feel accomplished having them grow in your home.

14. Go ‘Dark” for at least one day a month

Turn off all electronics and don’t answer your phone. Don’t even watch TV. Connect with people face to face, or don’t connect and take the time for yourself or working with your hands. Feel how much of a pull your cell phone has on you and resist it.

15. Visit somewhere new in your country

We spend our whole lives living somewhere and sometimes we never try the tourist activities. So tourists often have a very different view of our town or country than we do. The closer to home the better. The more touristy the better.

16. SLAY!

Please know that this list is in no particular order. This is one of my top resolutions after I found myself really surprised at how unkempt I found myself in public last year. I mean I was clean and everything but there was no extra effort to look decent. But for you regular people this will mean taking it up a notch when you go to events. Be your best version of you.

17. Perform for an audience

Again this is inexpensive and easily achievable. If you are talented you may even make some money from this. You can choose karaoke or an open mic show. You can even invite your friends over and announce to them there that you are going to sing, dance or act out a scene for them. Even if you need some liquid courage to do it first. It builds confidence and you should be a confident you.

18. Big Up Yuhself!

Relax, you’re awesome! Remind yourself of it, daily. Words of affirmation people. It is wonderful. Sometimes I walk down the street singing, “I’m bringing sexy back!” or “Who’s that girl?” and shake in the mirror. Love yourself and tell yourself everyday. Blow yourself a kiss when you pass a reflective surface, or give yourself a wink. Not all day eh people. Don’t be vain. Just remind yourself how awesome you are for surviving all that you have or for trying as hard as you do. Tell yourself what you need to hear to walk with confidence.

Your relationship with yourself is the longest one you will ever have, cherish it. Make every year a year of adventures and joy. Build relationships with others and value the relationships you have.

Cheers to another year!

Chin up.

Chest out.

Be Awesome!

~Ms Abby Kay~

Can you answer this Standard 3 comprehension question?

I need your opinion!

So the picture above is a question in a standard 3 comprehension text. It has caused some controversy over which answer is correct B or C.

Can you answer the question correctly? Give an explanation for your answer please.