We all have those little moments where we feel joy, or should I say pride, in the most silly of things. Things you know it’s actually kind of wrong to feel good about. Things that may make you realise just why PRIDE is one of the deadly sins. But in my attempt to keep it 100, I’m going to delve a little into the deep dark world that is my mind, and I’m going to share a few of my own secret conceited bitch moments.

And 5 of the silliest things I take pride in are:

• Unlimited Data Baby!!!! – I actually just love when people ask if I have wi-fi where I am and I can say “No I have: Unlimited Data Baby (*in Austin Powers voice*)”. I don’t even use my internet that often, I don’t carry on constant chats on whatsapp or tweet or am on instagram…..nope I just like being able to search for information when I need it…and the look of envy from non-data having peeps.

• Having an Engineering Degree – Ok the reality is that I’m not making the kind of money you expect Engineers to make (hey I’m now starting out) and my general finances not great yet either, my bank account not fat (yet). I have no husband/boyfriend and none in sight for the near future, and I have no children, I don’t own my own home or my own car, I don’t have land or a great wardrobe. In fact, I pretty much live like I did at university. So when I’m in those awkward situations where everyone seems to have a great perfect life and doing so much better than I am, I whip out the only real arsenal I have: My engineering degree. Mind you this only works well with non-engineers. In fact with none professionals – not doctors, lawyers and the like. So you’re getting married next month and have 3 cars and 2 kids and you just signed the lease on a house. That’s nice. Oh what am I doing? I’m an Engineer! —HA! Take that!…lmao. It’s conceited I know, and while I don’t think having an engineering degree makes me better than anyone, the fact that they think it makes me better than them is a definite plus for me.

• Spitting Bullshit (and having people believe it) – Now I know you all agree with me on this one. When you know you spitting the world of BS but you’re doing it so well you not only convince the people you’re telling it to but almost even convince yourself. Now that is something to smile about. Conversely I also enjoy listening to other people spitting bullshit and having them think I buy that shit.

• Booty Jumping – so I won’t go to the club and split and bounce and jiggle each side of my bumcee but it really causes me to smirk just knowing that hey, I can do that too….probably even better. HA! (ok so maybe not that great but I’m good enough for me)  But I’m sure most women out there love jumping their booties in private 🙂

• Making bad things sound like a God-send – This almost goes back to Spitting Bullshit. But it’s a finer art…..Friend feeling down about having a shitty job….you convince her that the job is just what she needs in her life to get to where she needs to be in life. Technically it might be true, hey as long as it makes her feel better, you’re good! I personally love to see the brighter side to bad situations and I feel really good when I can make other people do the same (even when I don’t believe it myself).

So there it is 5 really silly things I find joy in. What’s some of yours?